I love love.
I really do.
Give me a good love story and I’m in. Which probably explains why I enjoy Hallmark movies so much.
There’s something about watching two people find their way to each other, rediscover something they thought they’d lost, or learn how to love each other better that I find incredibly heartwarming.
So, of course, last night, I found myself watching another one.
This particular story was about a husband and wife who had grown apart. They were both busy with their own lives and responsibilities, and somewhere along the way, they had stopped appreciating what the other person carried.
Then, in true Hallmark fashion, something extraordinary happened.
They swapped bodies.
Suddenly, each of them had to live the other’s life.
They experienced the responsibilities the other person carried. They saw the pressures the other faced. They encountered the things that had become invisible because they had become so accustomed to them.
And slowly, they began to understand each other differently.
They began to appreciate each other differently.
And, of course, they began to love each other differently.
As I watched, I couldn’t help but think about this week’s line from the Prayer of St. Francis:
“Grant that I may not so much seek to be loved as to love.”
At first, I struggled a little with this one because when I hear the word love, my mind can easily go to romantic love.
And being in this season of singleness, I can sometimes find myself thinking about love through that particular lens.
But as I sat with the prayer, I realized that St. Francis was inviting me to think about love much more broadly.
Because love is not only about being in love.
Love is a way of being.
It’s a choice.
It’s an action.
It’s a way of moving through the world.
And perhaps the question isn’t always:
“Who loves me?”
Perhaps the deeper question is:
“How am I loving?”
Am I patient?
Am I kind?
Do I listen?
Do I make room for other people’s experiences?
Do I celebrate people without making their success about me?
Can I forgive?
Can I give without keeping score?
Can I show up when it is inconvenient?
Can I love someone even when they don’t love me in exactly the way I would like them to?
Because we often talk about love as something we want to receive.
We want to be seen.
We want to be appreciated.
We want to be chosen.
We want someone to check on us.
We want someone to show up for us.
We want to feel loved.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
We all want to be loved.
But St. Francis offers a different orientation: Grant that I may not so much seek to be loved as to love.
Not because being loved doesn’t matter, but because perhaps my life should not be measured primarily by how much love I am receiving.
Perhaps it should also be measured by how much love I am willing to give.
And then comes the beautiful explanation: “For it is in giving that we receive.”
That line changes everything.
Because sometimes we think of giving as losing something.
If I give my time, I have less time.
If I give my energy, I have less energy.
If I give my attention, I have less attention for myself.
But love doesn’t always work that way.
Sometimes when we give love, we receive something that cannot be measured.
We receive joy… Connection… Purpose…Gratitude.
The satisfaction of knowing that someone’s day was a little lighter because we showed up.
We receive the privilege of watching someone grow.
We receive the warmth of friendship.
We receive the deep peace that comes from knowing that we have been an instrument of something good.
And perhaps sometimes, the love we give changes us just as much as it changes the person receiving it.
That Hallmark couple needed to experience each other’s lives before they could truly appreciate what the other was giving and I think there is something in that for all of us.
How often do we focus on what someone isn’t doing for us without noticing what they are already doing?
How often do we become so familiar with someone’s presence that we stop appreciating it?
How often do we notice what we are not receiving while overlooking the love that is already being given?
Perhaps we don’t need to literally swap bodies with someone to understand them better.
Perhaps we simply need to pay attention.
To listen.
To notice.
To ask.
To appreciate.
To love intentionally.
And this has made me think about all the different ways love shows up in my own life.
The love of family.
The love of friendship.
The love found in community.
The love expressed through mentorship.
The love of people who check in.
The love of people who encourage.
The love of people who simply show up.
And even in this season of singleness, I am reminded that my life is not a life waiting for love to begin.
Love is already here.
It is around me.
It is within me.
And I have the opportunity every day to give it away.
Maybe that’s what I love most about this prayer.
It doesn’t ask God to make me someone who is constantly looking around to see who will love me.
It asks God to make me someone who is looking for opportunities to love.
To be patient.
To be kind.
To forgive.
To encourage.
To serve.
To listen.
To notice.
To show up.
To love.
And perhaps that is where the real abundance is found.
Not in keeping a tally of how much love has come to me… but in discovering just how much love I have to give.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” -1 Corinthians 13:4
This week, perhaps we can read those familiar words not as a description of the kind of love we hope someone will give to us, but as an invitation to examine the kind of love we give.
Because love is more than a feeling.
Love is how we treat people.
Take a moment to consider:
And perhaps sit with this question for a little while longer:
Am I spending more time wondering who will love me, or looking for opportunities to love?
Today my prayer is simple.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be loved as to love.
Teach me to see love as more than romance, and to recognize the many ways I am called to love and to be love in the world.
Make me patient when patience is difficult.
Kind when kindness isn’t easy.
Generous without keeping score.
Forgiving when I would rather hold on.
Present when someone simply needs to know they are not alone.
And when I find myself longing to be loved, remind me that this desire does not make me weak or incomplete.
Help me to trust that I am already deeply loved by You.
And from that place of being loved, teach me to love others well.
May I not spend my life measuring how much love is coming toward me, but instead become increasingly aware of the love I have to give.
For it is in giving that we receive.
Amen.
Until next Saturday!
Love, Talisha ❤️
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I love love. I really do. Give me a good love story and I’m in. Which probably explains why I enjoy Hallmark movies so much. There’s something about watching two people find their way to each other, rediscover something they thought they’d lost, or learn how to love each other better that I find incredibly […]
One Response
Great writing skills. The topic felt warm and inviting. However, what I truly appreciated was the tone, melody, interplay, and reflection woven throughout. It was captivating, and that is why the skill itself shouts excellence to me.
Love is a verb. And love is one of those long Algebra mixes with simultaneous equations, squared by Geometry. 😂 Yet, you brought the point home beautifully: love should not be looked for any further than your own nose. It should be lived daily, expressed as an outward revelation of what is already within us and what we are willing to freely give.
So, ❤️ love someone today. Not simply to leave them where you found them, but to leave them with something that contributes to their Becoming.